Your mom doesn't work here

I'm pretty sure she doesn't hang out at trails I frequent. If she did maybe she would get busy cleaning up the place. I'd probably see her out there all stooped over picking up discarded GU, Clif Shot and Hammer Gel packets tossed aside by guys too fast to slow down. Instead it's just me, and other like minded folks, who stop what we're doing and cart out your junk. Thanks for the sticky gloves and pockets! If I start to bonk I suppose can turn them inside out, and lick the goopy mess to replace my dwindled stores of electrolytes. I guess you're just looking out for everyone else, sharing in your sugary bounty if you will. Thanks!

Speaking of pockets.. I'm guessing you employ them to cart around your sugary treats? Is it too much to ask that you simply shove the wrappers back in them? Contrary to popular belief the local "fast ride" in the woods isn't a supported event. There aren't folks lining the trail ready to run out and pick up your discarded items like euro road cycling fans. Sure, you and your buddies may go out and hammer each other into a heap of fatigued skinny sweaty men in lycra, and it may be your own personal tour de lance, but it's not the end all be all event of anyone else's week. As such the rest of us would appreciate you picking up your own shit.

If you wear a skinsuit in the woods, and you tape your gel to your bike, then I simply cannot help you. This is not a valid excuse, ever. You are beyond hope and need to purchase a time trial bike, some running shoes and a speedo immediately. But... sport that look on the trails at Lincoln Woods and I'll completely forgive the littering.

Below please find some remedial learning material proven helpful for those in need of the life lesson. This comes to you courtesy of some children's programming and Alex Desert of Hepcat.